THAT NIGHT
Twins about twelve years old arrive from the beach. When we first meet, they're skinny beanpoles, but each time I run into them, only minutes or hours apart, they've grown bigger breasts and curvier hips. They're amazed at the swift changes, and tease each other--apparently they were starting to wonder if they'd ever grow anything.
When I stumble on them the last time, they're leaning against a rail, topless, examining their new breasts with big happy grins. I don't think about it--just nuzzle and kiss them both. Get turned on, feel shy, make lame jokes. "You taste like sea salt!" and lick them both till their nipples stand up... all of us in bliss. Sex may have arrived late, but it's hurrying to catch up!
Sketch of a dream by Wayan: child at noon, pubescent at 1 PM, breasts at two PM!
NOTES IN THE MORNING
Is the dream really just saying "Your art is sexy"? I don't buy it; they're twins for a deeper reason. What?
Underage girls: did therapy on my mom bring up fears I'm abusive? She acted as if all my sexual feelings were abusive. But the dream twins were happy, not scared at all.
Swift growth from kid to teen: me in therapy! I used to never object, never demand, never come on to anyone--like a wary, resigned kid. Now I'm growing up fast--making up for lost time.
ACTION: Fight my trained pessimism: speak up, act out, no matter how odd it looks. Who knows what will bloom, and how fast? Lots of catching up to do; but better late than never.